Arriving into 2019, reflection is inevitable, it's always nice to look back as it's often here that we see all the connecting dots for this divine masterpiece of life. Which we’re rarely able to see moving forwards, especially as we lean deeper and deeper into the unknown and start to dance with the great mystery of life. This year as I look back, not just over 2018 but the last 8 years, since I got ill and had my spiritual awakening, but also everything that came before. I sit and ponder what it is that led me here, to this beautiful moment.
What led me to heal my physical body, when I was told by doctors and specialists there was no cure for any of my symptoms. What led me to trust myself, when I was so lost I didn’t know which way to turn. What forced me to get out of bed, when all I wanted to do was curl in a ball and hide under the covers. What led me to explore Acupuncture, Chinese Herbs & Homeopathy and to refuse the doctors only offering of steroids. What led me to arrive on the floor of a Shaman, when I was in the pits of despair and desperation, without any idea what shamanism actually was. What led me to do a Holistic Health Coach Training, so I could empower myself and start guiding others. What led me to go Vegan and start eating more intuitively, organic, plant foods. What led me to give up a successful 10 year dance career, with no job to go to or clue what I would do instead. What led me to continuously move beyond my fears and to free myself from the bondage of my past. What led me to drop everything and jump on a flight to India, Sattva Yoga Academy when I had no practice, love or interest in Yoga and then to return again a few months later. What is it, that moment to moment allows me to navigate this crazy wild life, to find clarity and truth over and over again, even amidst the chaos of the mind, the confusion, the fleeting thoughts, the rising and crashing of emotions, all the changing tides, the highs and lows of it all. The only answer I have, is by listening to and trusting completely, totally and utterly, to the truth that sits, in my very own heart. Listening and trusting in this above all else, above all intellectual knowledge, above all teachings and philosophies, beyond all narratives, beliefs and stories, in each and every moment.
You see, whilst the more we evolve, expand, shed, dissolve and discover greater depths of who we truly are, by expanding our awareness and state of consciousness, the deeper the insights to all of life’s questions are revealed, in that very process life just seems to get simple and simpler. For that is the isness of isness. Yet simultaneously, through my own journey and working with others, I realise more and more the sheer complexity and beauty of each of our unique journeys. Whilst we would all love to have the answers, what I realise more and more, is that there really is NO recipe for life. No specific process or methodology and especially no one size fits all path for healing, to finding your Self, realising your infinite potential and returning to the deep state of love and unity, that is our authentic nature.
We can sit here all day long discussing the absolute truths of the universe, but the only thing that will continuously guide you to exactly what is needed for you in each moment, is getting deeply in tune with your own heart and Self, by listening and responding to what is needed and being asked of you in each moment. Awakening isn’t meant to be easy or straightforward, I haven’t met a single person where it has been, it’s one wild, crazy but bloody beautiful rollercoaster. If it were really easy everyone would be walking out of Satsang 'enlightened', which is rarely the case from what I've seen. We have to do the work on all levels of mind, body/energy and soul.
Whilst we do the work, what’s really important, is that we honour our own journey and don’t get caught up in comparison with others, being fixated on ‘one’ way of anything be it a diet, or a spiritual teaching or healing method. It worked for someone else, that’s wonderful but if it doesn’t work for you, if it doesn't resonate on the deepest level, move on. Allow your visceral experience to be your teacher, follow that which brings more peace, more joy, more freedom, reclaim your innate power and knowing, only your heart and soul knows what it needs and that cannot be taught by anyone. Let it not be about what way is right or wrong, truth can be found in everything, depending on where you're looking from. All it means is that that’s not your way, or what’s relevant for you in that moment and that’s OKAY. Maybe something is relevant for a certain period of time, and then it’s not. I’ve explored soooooo many thing over the past years, it was ALL relevant at that moment in time, it served it’s purpose until it was no longer relevant and I moved on, allowing my heart to lead. It’s when we become attached to a particular way and are unable to let go when it's no longer serving us, that we suffer. So whether you’re a Buddhist, a Shaman, a Yogi, a Mystic, a Druid, a Modern Soul Seeker, Conscious Explorer, Lucid Dreamer, Astral Traveller, none or all of the above it doesn’t matter. They’re just labels anyway, what matters, is being truthful with your Self in each moment. Everyone has a story, a method, a perception but it’s fundamentally based on their lived experience.
I believe that we each come here with a different purpose, with a unique set of gifts, a different state of consciousness, with different lessons to learn, a different karmic and ancestral load, we each have different upbringings, beliefs systems engrained into us etc, there are SO many contributing factors that shape our experience of reality. I witness it all the time in my work, two people attending the same event, both coming out and expressing a completely different experience. Thats the beauty, the magic, the mystery of this incredible journey called life. Own YOURS. Honour YOURS. Walk your own PATH, for you are the path and the path is you, no-one can walk it for you. Be ferociously and unapologetically YOU, for there is no other YOU and that is your power. No path is superior to another and it can get really friggin confusing and complicated, when you start exploring them all and consciousness in general. When we over focus on absolute truth, especially from an intellectual level, we can miss what is right here and now in your own heart, which is the only place that truth exists anyway. So stay here, listen deeply, trust your Self and what is relative for you in each moment, that will guide you to exactly where you need to be in each moment. Sometimes practicing is relevant be it meditation/yoga, shamanic dreaming or other, sometimes transcending it there and then is relevant, sometimes witnessing what's arising is relevant, sometimes dancing it out is relevant, sometimes screaming and shaking is relevant, sometimes journaling is relevant, sometimes nothing is relevant, use your intuition and move the way love makes you move, go where love makes you go, do what lights you up, do what makes you heart sing and allow your own experiences to guide you into a deeper and deeper state of who you truly are and when times get confusing, painful, uncomfortable, know that all you will ever need, is the truth that sits in your very own heart.
Sending love & light always,